


Quantum of Bullshit

by shirozora



Category: James Bond (Movies), Political RPF - US 21st c., Politician RPF
Genre: Gen, memories of rahmbamarama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-20
Updated: 2010-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-06 12:24:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirozora/pseuds/shirozora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Are American tourists always this rude?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quantum of Bullshit

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
> 
> Here is another old RBR story, this time a crossover story between [](http://charlieblue.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**charlieblue**](http://charlieblue.dreamwidth.org/)'s Mafia!verse and the James Bond story _Quantum of Solace_.

_Americans._

He exhibits all the hallmarks of the typical modern American. Arrogant (thinks he's king of the world). Greedy (probably filthy rich, judging from the dusty and torn Armani suit). Meddlesome (can't ever mind his own damn business). Self-centered (if it's not about him, it's not about anyone).

And one hell of a shot (why else do they think so highly of themselves?).

"Ha!" the man crows as another car veers off the rough dirt road and drops off the face of the earth. "Take that you yellow-faced double-crossing backstabbing pig-shitting cock-sucking motherfuckers!"

_And to top it off, this one has a filthy mouth. M would just_ love_ to have him in MI6._

"What's with the fucking smirk?" his passenger demands. The click of an empty gun only widens the grin.

"Why are you after Quantum?" The car makes a hard left and skids.

'Fuck you, why are _you_ after Quantum?" the American snaps back as he holds onto his seat. "Eyes on the road, fucknut!"

"No problem," and he changes gears, spins the beat-up Aston Martin DBS V12 around the curve, tries not to smile as the American tries to hang onto both his seat and his firearm, and fails to accomplish neither. "Cartridges are in the glove compartment. How good's your aim?"

The American ignores him, picks the firearm off the floor, and fishes for the much desired ammunition. He jams the magazine into the Heckler &amp; Koch UMP, leans out the jagged edge of the tinted window, and cocks the firearm.

"Don't ever question my fucking aim, you fucking Brit-what the _fuck_ are you doing?"

His passenger nearly loses the UMP (and falls out the window) as the Aston Martin makes a hard right. The man doesn't waist any time spraying bullets all over their pursuers, however, and one of the other vehicles drives straight into the sheer stone wall.

"If you're going to complain, then put on your seatbelt first," he says coolly and shifts gears. "We're almost there."

"Yeah?" the American snarls. "Well I don't know where 'there' is, but that doesn't mean we're fucking _done_."

He leans out of the car again.

_Americans. So arrogant, so greedy, so meddlesome, so bloody, self-centered…but never quitters._

* * *

"So. Who are you?"

"_Rahm fucking Emanuel_. Who do you fucking _think_ I am?"

"I don't know and I don't _care_. Why are you after Quantum?"

"Why are you-"

"Answer my question."

"…they fucking backed out of a deal, killed one of our men that we spent several fucking years to place. You?"

"They…killed someone I know, shot my boss, and infiltrated all the major organizations, corporations, and governments. I'm going to find them all and-"

"No, you fucking piece of ass-kissing British-born shit. Your _name_."

"…Bond. James Bond."


End file.
